


Wooing Lieutenant Starsky

by mvernet



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Post Sweet Revenge, Pre-Slash, Romance, Unrequited Love, lovelovelove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 05:29:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5404787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mvernet/pseuds/mvernet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hutch visits an old friend at her used bookstore and discovers the world of romance. Will it help him deal with his feelings for Starsky?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Romancing The Starsk

**Author's Note:**

> This romantic tale is dedicated to Mizelle for her support and wonderful prompt and to Spencer5460 for being the most brilliant betazoid and best friend a cringing writer could have.
> 
> I love you both and Happy Holidays!

Prologue

Hutch walked into the used bookstore, setting off the warning jingle of the bell above the door. An elderly woman raised herself slowly from her stool behind the cluttered counter. Peering over stacks of books, she smiled at her favorite customer.

“Detective Ken! How lovely to see you. It’s been too long. I thought you might have started shopping at one of those big, gaudy bookstores at the mall.”

“And miss seeing my favorite bookworm? Never! Never!”

Hutch waited for the woman to make it around the counter and moved in for a brief hug. “How are you, Mindy?”

She patted his back in a motherly fashion. “Oh, just fine, Detective Ken. I take my herbals and keep on truckin’. I wish I knew you were coming, I just dried a bunch of lemon balm, great for the nerves.”

Mindy stepped back and looked Hutch over.

“You are way too thin. And your skin is shallow from worry and stress. What am I going to do with you? How is Detective Dave doing now?”

“He’s fine, Mindy. Really fine. He’s recovered from the shooting and back to work.”

“So that’s what you’ve been doing. Caring for him, getting him back on his feet. And making yourself sick in the process. You two are not back on the street, I hope.”

“No. The new Chief of Police got the Mayor’s blessing and made us both Lieutenants. He gave us our own department to run. We do neighborhood outreach and teach sensitivity courses to new recruits among other things. Starsky gets to teach driving maneuvers at the academy every Thursday. I think he lives for Thursdays.”

“And you visit my humble shop on a Thursday. Detective Ken, I mean Lieutenant Ken, you need some help, don’t you. Is it your love life? I have some ginseng gum in my purse, good for… you know, stamina.”

Hutch laughed and waved his hand.

“No, I’m good, Mindy.”

“Then tell me your troubles, Lieutenant Ken.”

Hutch had known the sixty-plus woman since he first moved to Bay City. She always had a cup of herbal tea and a good book to recommend for whatever ailed you. He treasured her like a rare first edition and sought her company when he was anxious and worried. Hutch trusted her.

“Mindy, it’s complicated. I hardly have it worked out myself. When Starsky was shot, his heart stopped.”

“Oh, my God! You poor boy. You must have been devastated at the time.”

Hutch nodded. He closed his eyes and he was back to the moment when his Starsky had left him. When his own heart was torn from him only to be slammed back into his body when Starsky’s heartbeat began again. Mindy touched his arm lightly. He opened his eyes and took a deep breath.

“It was horrible. But Starsky, being Starsky, ended up looking at it as a positive thing. Like a new start on life. I admire him so much for that.”

Mindy tipped her head to the side, she played with the red ribbon at the end of her long gray braid.

“But something about him changed that you never imagined could change.”

Mindy chuckled as Hutch’s baby blues flashed.

“How did you know? How do you always know?”

“People are like books. Some are easy to read and delight the senses. You and Dave have been a favorite series of mine for a while.”

Hutch gave her a sweet smile, which she returned.

“Starsky has decided.. well… no...discovered is more like it, that he is bisexual. He’s started seeing his physical therapist, Andy Nolan. And I think Police Chief Saunders has a crush on him!”

“Lieutenant Ken! You are not against this!”

“No! No! I’m happy for him. I’ve never seen him happier in a budding relationship! He died, Mindy. I want him to live life to the fullest. I want him to have everything he deserves. I want…”

“You want him. You’re in love with him.”

Hutch hung his head, looked at the old hardwood floor and nodded.

Mindy reached up and lifted his head tenderly. The sky blue eyes were dull and grayed by the pain of unrequited love.

“Mindy, I don’t know what to do. I love him, but he sees me as just a friend. To be fair, he sees me as a brother and I know he loves me deeply. He’s just not attracted to me. He told me all about his changes, asked me if he should date. We talked about what it meant to be a man. He even said that if his actions bothered me in any way, he would hold off. He told me nothing was more important to him than our friendship and partnership.”

“And what did you tell him about your feelings? Did you tell him you have been attracted to him for years?”

“Of course not.”

“Why, of course not, Ken?”

“Because I’m not good enough for him. I’m just boring old Hutch. I have nothing to offer a wonderful man like Starsk. Nothing to see here folks, might as well move on.”

“Lieutenant Ken! You are so wrong! I see the way he looks at you. I know how he feels about you. Remember when you were in the hospital with a broken leg? He came in here and bought books by all your favorite authors. He knew just what you liked and disliked. And he was floating on a cloud because you were aware enough to concentrate and read. That is love, Ken. I know love when I see it.”

“It’s too late, Mindy. I should have said something before this. Starsky likes this Andy guy. I have no right to interfere at this late date.”

“Is Dave in love with this man?”

“No. He would tell me. He’s just trying out the waters, so to speak. I don’t think they’ve even kissed yet.”

“Are you jealous of this Andy?”

Hutch wiped his face with his hand.

“Insanely.”

Mindy chuckled and took Hutch’s hand.

“It is never too late for true love, Ken.”

“But…”

“No. No buts. You must woo him. You must romance him. Show him how good it will be with you!. Don’t worry. I can help.”

Mindy pulled the lanky blond into the romance section of her store.

“Oh! God! Mindy, no!” Hutch turned an interesting shade of light purple and tried to back away.

“Shush, you silly! You will use these books as a guide.”

Mindy pulled down off the shelf a choice Harlequin Historical Romance, “Passion In The Pines.”

“This is for background. Sort of like an appetizer. Once you’ve read one, you’ve read them all.”

She shoved the book into Hutch’s hand and dragged him to the classic section.

“Now we have the meat and potatoes.”

Hutch sighed as she placed books in a pile. She was literally in her element.

“Let’s see, “Jane Eyre,” “Pride and Prejudice,” “Dr Zhivago,” and... Oh! This one was written in ‘73 but it will be a classic someday, “The Princess Bride.””

Hutch carried the books to the counter then set them down, awkwardly and reached for his wallet.

“Darling, boy! There is no charge,” Mindy insisted. “Just let me know when true love conquers all.”


	2. My Very Soul Demands You

Hutch stood in the middle of his Venice Place living area studying the the stack of books that balanced on his coffee table. He needed a place to hide them from Starsky’s all-seeing eyes.

_Kitchen cabinet? Nope, nobody keeps romances in the kitchen. ___

_Hall closet? Nope. Starsky might take my gun and shoot me if he finds them there just to put me out of my misery. ___

_Ahh! Hide in plain sight! ___

Hutch went to his bookshelf and carefully arranged the romances so that they were intermingled with his books on nutrition and raising healthy houseplants. He even dusted the area with a feather duster, lightly, so that the books looked like they hadn’t been disturbed recently. For a moment he wondered if dusting might be telltale in and of itself, but Starsky had not reason to be looking for anything suspicious. He hoped.

Hutch removed “Jane Eyre” from its new home, grabbed a beer from the fridge and settled among his plants in his greenhouse. He had no intention of reading every word like a lovesick fool. This was research. He would skim and glean hidden knowledge like the big, tough detective he was.

.oOOo.

Amen! Even so come, Lord Jesus.

Hutch closed “Jane Eyre” with a sigh. He finished the now warm beer in his hand. He could relate to Mr. Rochester, loving the brilliant, sweet, caring, brave governess, while harboring a secret that would destroy his true love. Hutch shook his head sadly, his eyes fell on his favorite plant. Its colorful leaves and warm tropical demeanor made Hutch want to confess.

“Nat King?” he admitted to the coleus Starsky had given him and named, “I am a lovesick fool.”

Hutch waited for a response only he could hear. He smiled as an idea formed.

“You are so right! Dark, brooding hulk I can do! I can out-brood Mr. Rochester any day! And I can even do it in the California sunshine. Starsky won’t know what hit him! Thanks, Nat.”

.oOOo.

 

Starsky arrived a little while later bearing pizza as he always did on Thursdays. Hutch heard the bouncy step outside his door and readied himself. Starsky’s cheerful voice filled the now dark apartment.

“Hey! Hutch! Sorry, I gotta eat and run tonight, babe. Gots a date with Andy. Told him I had to feed my buddy, Hutch, first. Got your favorite on your half - mushroom and olive! And we got a bonus thingy a buffalo wings. Eva here a those? Imagine chicken wings at a pizza joint! They’ll be doin’ rabbit food next. What a world... Hutch?”

Starsky placed the pizza on the dining table, and turned toward his friend.

Hutch was sprawled on the couch in the dark, one arm dramatically draped over his eyes.

“What a world indeed, David.” He sighed deeply.

Starsky froze at the use of his given name. Something was seriously wrong. On instinct he opened his jacket to be better able to reach for his gun.

“Hutch! What’s wrong?” Starsky’s voice was deadly serious and his brilliant eyes searched the dark apartment for signs of trouble. He noted Hutch had dusted his book shelf, tossed the thought off as inconsequential and turned back to his partner.

“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. What could be wrong? Go ahead and eat, David. I...I’m not hungry...”

Starsky ran to Hutch’s side and knelt next to him. He started checking for fever and took Hutch’s hand to take his pulse. Starsky’s other hand ran over Hutch’s body feeling for injuries and blood.

“Do you hurt anywhere? Did ya hit your head? Is your tummy upset?”

“I’m fine, David. I...I was just thinking about life and how fragile it is. How fragile we all are. Here today…” Hutch let his hand wave as if he were saying goodbye to life forever.

“Babe? Ya thinkin’ about when I almost died again? Did ya have another nightmare while you were nappin’?”

Hutch almost felt regret when he saw the deep concern covering Starsky’s face. Almost. He made himself think of Andy showing his Starsky a good time. He sighed and repeated the quote he memorized from “Jane Eyre.”

“May you never feel what I then felt. May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine. May you never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonized as in that hour left my lips.”

Starsky’s face melted in compassion and love. Tears filled his eyes and he reached for Hutch and hugged him close.

“It’s okay, babe. I made it. I’m safe and right here. Ain’t never gonna leave ya. I promise, babe. All that is behind us. I thought ya was over the pain. Oh, Hutch. I’ll always be here for ya.”

Hutch clung to Starsky and tried to quiet the voice in his head calling him every dirty word he could think of in several languages. Starsky was holding him. He was a selfish bastard and Starsky was holding him. He cherished the act while another quote came to mind.

_My very soul demands you… ___

Starsky gently backed away. He smiled.

“Babe? I… I gotta make a phone call. I gotta tell Andy I can’t make it tonight. Then you and me are gonna have a nice leisurely dinner and maybe go to a movie or play chess. Oh, and I’m stayin’ the night. Ain’t lettin’ you outta my sight in this crazy mood ya got yourself in.”

Hutch’s guilt hit an all-time high at that, but he squashed it down. This romance stuff was working.

“Starsk, I don’t want to be a burden…”

“You ain’t a burden, you’re my partner. I love ya and I ain’t gonna let you sit here in the dark brooding.”

Hutch hid his face with his hands so Starsky would not see him smile.


	3. He's Prejudice, I'm Pride

The door to the office bore an imposing red sign with white lettering, making it clear that this was the location of Bay City Outreach and that Lieutenant K. Hutchinson and Lieutenant D. Starsky would most likely be found behind it. The office was cramped, like all the offices on the third floor of Metro. Starsky and Hutch had placed their two desks facing each other in the middle of the room. Chairs and file cabinets hugged the walls and one corner was home to a trashcan resembling a basketball backboard and hoop - Starsky’s contribution to the decor.

 

Framed copies of photos and newspaper clippings of the partners, office-warming gifts courtesy of Mrs. Starsky - covered the walls.. Starsky had drawn the line at hanging a photo of baby David and baby Nicholas in a bathtub. Hutch had that one safely hidden in a file cabinet under, Expense Account Forms 1975. So far he had managed to show the photo to everyone in the building except for Leo the window cleaner and he was next on his list.

On the east wall was a beautiful oil painting of the bay at sunrise, while on the west wall a painting of a sunset brought muted color and life to the room. They were genuine Hutchinson originals.

Starsky and Hutch had an open door policy. When they were in, the door was open. Many a rookie cop had cautiously entered that door after hours and sought advice from the legendary team.

Today, that door was shut for an hour while Hutch was deep in thought about the book he just finished. “Pride and Prejudice.” Starsky had gone to meet Andy for lunch since Andy had some business to take care of in the building. Starsky hadn’t said what that business was and Hutch didn’t ask.

Starsky seemed to feel bad about leaving Hutch on his own. Probably because Hutch had sighed sadly and said, “That’s okay, Starsk. I think I’m getting a migraine anyway. I’m not hungry, I’ll just put my head down on the desk and rest for an hour.”

The brooding hulk act had worn thin. Now he was resorting to guilt trips. Hutch needed some new tactics.

“Pride and Prejudice” had puzzled Hutch. He couldn’t figure out who was pride and who was prejudice, Elizabeth or Mr. Darcy. They both seemed to take turns. Hutch couldn’t help seeing himself as Mr. Darcy and thought the man was quite misunderstood.

_Mr. Darcy was just shy. He had a hard time socializing and hid behind aristocratic airs._

Hutch gazed at his sunrise painting he had specifically placed so that he could see it as he talked to Starsky during the day since Starsky reminded him of the sun, bright and nurturing and alive. He loved him and wanted him more with every passing day. He had to win him away from Andy.

What really made Elizabeth Bennet fall in love with Mr. Darcy was when she found out he helped her family without trying to take credit. That showed her what a fine man he was. __

He stood up then and walked to the window. Pushing the Venetian blind apart slightly, he saw Andy and Starsky enter the building. Starsky had a paper bag in one hand and his other was on Andy’s shoulder. Andy looked to be very upset.

_Huh. Trouble in paradise? Wonder what’s wrong? ___

Hutch walked to the door and opened it, then took a position at his desk, resting his head on his arm and feigning sleep, as he waited.

Hutch continued to keep his eyes closed as he heard Starsky and Andy enter the room. Starsky made a beeline for Hutch and gently rubbed his arm.

“Aw, babe. Wake up. I got you a falafel. The kind ya like made outa chickenpeas. Ick!”

Hutch raised his head slowly and gave Starsky his best faux suffering smile.

“Ooooo,” Hutch moaned. “Hey, buddy. Gee! You didn’t have to do that!”

“You keep skipping meals and the Santa Ana wind’s gonna blow ya away. Is your headache real bad, babe? Want me to rub your shoulders? I know that usually helps you.”

Starsky moved behind Hutch and started a gentle massage. Hutch looked up at Andy as he leaned against the door his arms and ankles folded casually. Andy was a tall, proud black man. He took pride in his job as a physical therapist and pride in his strong and trim body. Hutch watched as Andy then reached for his sunglasses and removed them. A smirk appeared on his handsome face. One eyebrow was raised and his deep brown eyes pierced Hutch’s baby blues.

“Oh! Hi, Andy. Come on in. Take a load off.” Hutch gestured to a chair, weakly.

Andy straightened, entered the office and pulled out Starsky’s chair to sit down opposite Hutch. Andy didn’t smile. He seemed distracted.

Hutch’s emotions did a quick jog around his head. He hated seeing anyone sitting in Starsky’s chair. He was angry that Andy would think he had that right to sit there. He remembered that before Starsky started dating him, he liked Andy. They had become friends during Starsky’s recovery and on more than one occasion Andy’s soft voice and caring heart had helped Hutch through his own pain at witnessing Starsky’s struggle with recovery.

Hutch’s emotions started to run in place. Jealousy. Jealousy was where he stopped and he surrendered to it.

“Sorry you have a headache, Hutch. I guess you guys deal with a lot of hard shit every day. Must be stressful.”

Hutch still being Hutch, pushed his jealousy to the side and grew concerned at Andy’s unusually sad demeanor.

“What’s wrong, Andy?” Hutch couldn’t help himself.

Andy looked at Starsky and they shared a look and a nod.

Hutch’s jealousy squeezed him. Starsky stopped massaging Hutch’s neck and started to pace.

“Andy’s little bro is in big trouble. He’s a lead suspect in a murder case. The kid swears he’s innocent and being framed. He got involved in drug traffikin’. Little fish, big stinkin’ pond. Same old story, Hutch.”

Andy cleared his throat and leaned across Starsky’s desk.

“My brother isn’t really a kid anymore. He’s twenty four and this is his first time being arrested. I know he’s innocent and could be acquitted if I only had the money for a good lawyer. I just can’t bail him out and pay for a lawyer, too. So right now he’s still sitting in jail. Dave offered me his savings, but I don’t feel right taking it. I know he still has a lot of medical expenses. It meant so much that he even offered. Most men would run in the other direction.”

Andy gave Starsky a smoldering glance from under his long dark lashes. Starsky bowed his head and blushed.

Hutch’s jealousy started lifting weights in his head. Getting stronger by the second. He had a terribly wonderful idea.

“Hey, Starsk? Would you mind going downstairs and getting me some juice to have with my falafel? Oh, and maybe scrounge up some aspirins for me? I’m all out. You want some coffee, Andy?”

“Sure. You know how I like my coffee, Dave.” Andy responded with a smooth familiarity that rankled.

“Yeah, black and sweet, the way I like my men! Be right back.”

Starsky touched Andy’s back briefly on his way out the door and winked at Hutch. Hutch’s jealousy growled, its muscles growing and tearing its jogging suit to shreds. Hutch was left with a green monster in his brain taking over all rational thought.

Despite the devilish thoughts going on his mind, Hutch showed Andy an angelic smile.

“Andy, I’m in a position to help and I’d like to give you the money you need for your brother.” But I don’t want Starsky to know.” Hutch leaned across the desk and spoke softly. “He knows I have a trust fund, but he wouldn’t want me to use it.”

Hutch knew he had Andy’s complete attention as he continued. “I’ve made some wise investments with it, so it’s grown over the years. Starsky just doesn’t know how much.”

He watched with satisfaction as Andy’s eyes widened. 

“Starsky’s good at a lot of things, but money isn’t one of them. Whenever he’s needed a little extra, – for car repairs, medical bills, even your therapy sessions - I’ve always made up the difference. He’s just never caught on.”

“Never?”

“I am a detective. A good one. For example, Merle, Starsky’s mechanic knows to always give Starsky a bill for under a hundred dollars. I pay the rest. I can afford it, he’s my partner. What’s mine is his. And now I’m offering it to help you.”

“Ken! I can’t take your money! I mean Dave and I are just dating! We aren’t even a couple! We haven’t even… I mean we aren’t... serious.”

Hutch’s heart leapt at the confession. It was well worth the money just to hear it.

“It can be a loan, Andy. But I really don’t care when or if you pay it back. Maybe you can have your brother get a job to pay me back. Might make him straighten up if he thinks he owes money to a big mean cop.”

Andy smiled at that as he fiddled with one of Starsky’s unsharpened pencils.

“Hurry and say yes. Then I’ll start making some phone calls and get you a decent bail bondsman. I could have your brother out by tonight. Just keep Starsky busy this afternoon. We got a deal?”

Andy looked up at him then.

“Did Dave ever tell you how we got together?”

Hutch swallowed and shook his head.

“I told him I was interested in you. I just wanted to know if you were available and interested in maybe swinging my way.”

Hutch tried for a non-judgmental look of complete tolerance. He must have succeeded since Andy continued.

“He told me you were straight as an arrow and liable to trip over your big blond feet running away scared in the other direction if I approached you. Then he talked about you for an hour. I was taken aback at all the love he feels for you. It came out in every word, gesture and silly joke. He bowled me over with his capacity to love. I suddenly wanted to feel that passion pointed in my direction. Then he told me about his awakening feelings…”

“You don’t have to explain…”

Hutch wanted him to stop talking.

“I wanted you to know, I’m giving him all the time he needs. I won’t hurt him.”

“Andy, he’ll be back any second.”

Andy sighed and took Hutch’s hand.

“Thank you. I’ll take your kind offer. And I’ll keep your secret. Ken, you are a beautiful man, inside and out. If only you were…”

Starsky entered the room balancing coffee, a half-filled aspirin bottle and several little brown bags.

“If only he were what, Andy?”

“A billionaire, Starsk. A billionaire,” said Hutch without missing a beat.

Starsky gave a lopsided grin and started handing out his goodies. Hutch wondered how long it would take Starsky to wheedle the secret out of Andy. He opened the aspirin bottle while Starsky handed him a bottle of guava nectar. He sat back in his swivel chair to contemplate what he would say when Starsky found out what he had done and came to him with his heartfelt gratitude. Mr. Darcy expressed it so well.

_You must know, surely, you must know. It was all for you. ___

.oOOo.

Hutch had finally obtained Andy’s brother’s release and was back at his desk. He had just ended a phone call from the grateful little bother promising to mend his ways and never miss a payment to Hutch on his loan. Starsky walked in as he cradled the receiver. He closed the door and faced Hutch.

“Hey, Hutch. I heard this great joke from Davis, the motorcycle cop, just now. It goes, Lieutenant Hutchinson walks into a bail bond joint… but you know the rest don’t ya?”

Hutch glanced at the wall clock and swallowed a lump in his throat. He had entered Confidential Bail Bonds by the courthouse at 2:00 that afternoon and now the clock showed 6:25 p.m.. Then he stood and came out from behind his desk. He tried again to swallow, but found he couldn’t even breathe.

 

_"He knows. Damn! Four hours and twenty five minutes. He is so good, I’m not ready for this!" ___

Starsky came closer to Hutch and reached for his face. Hutch couldn’t help but notice a few tears gleaming in his sapphire eyes. He caressed Hutch’s cheek then pulled him into a tight embrace.

“You big blond idiot! What am I gonna do with ya, huh? Spendin’ your hard earned cash on people in trouble. You never think of yourself, do ya? Never spend money on yourself. Drive around in a piece a crap car, carry an old pocket watch. Don’t even go to the barber regular.”

Starsky leaned back and flipped Hutch’s hair away from his face. Then he lightly touched Hutch’s mustache. He looked longingly at Hutch’s lips.

“Ya big dope! Do ya even know how… proud I am to be your… best friend?”

Hutch froze. He forgot how to breathe entirely. He had a vague thought that it might be important later, but certainly not now.

Starsky was so close to his slightly blue tinged lips that Hutch could feel the spent air from Starsky’s lungs forming a warm path across his face. He wanted to follow that path and enter that warm dark, enticing cave.

“Oh, babe!” 

Starsky pulled him close again. Kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear.

“Thank you for doin’ that for Andy. It means so much to me that I have your support in everything I do. God, Hutch. I love you so much.”  
Starsky kissed his cheek again. And stroked his blond hair, still holding him close.

Hutch melted into Starsky’s strong arms. This was it. This was the perfect time to tell Starsky of his love and steal him away from Andy. What had Mr. Darcy said?

_You have bewitched me, body and soul. ___

That would do it. What came out of Hutch’s mouth was barely a whisper.

“I... lo...love...love you too, Starsk.”

Starsky released him. A wistful yet loving smile graced his face. It nearly broke Hutch’s heart. Starsky took Hutch’s face in his two hands.

“How’s about I take ya to dinner, my treat, your choice. You are too skinny these days, babe. I worry about cha.”

And just like that the moment had passed. Hutch nodded agreement.

_Well, I guess I’m no Fitzwilliam Darcy. Chickenshit loser is more like it. ___

Hutch mumbled curses into his jacket as he pulled it on and followed Starsky out the door.


	4. It Never Snows In California

_Thanks, Jane Austen. Mr. Darcy may have won his true love’s heart with an unselfish act, but old Hutch here just got screwed. ___

Hutch’s idea had backfired. Since Andy allowed his little brother to move in with him temporarily, Starsky had asked Andy to spend the weekend at his house so they could have some privacy. Hutch feared what this would mean. Andy and Starsky’s relationship would turn “serious” sometime after dinner.

So Hutch found himself at home alone for an entire weekend with nothing to do except read romances and try not to think about Starsky and Andy together getting to know each other better.

Hutch’s jealousy monster wanted to drive to Starsky’s place, climb in Starsky’s bedroom window, lock Andy in a closet and take his place in Starsky’s bed.

He could just hear Starsky’s non-plussed greeting.

_Hey! Hutch! How’s it hangin’? ___

Hutch shook his head at the image. He was better off seeing this romance thing through to the sweet or bitter end. He picked up a thick paperback from his shelf and sat on his greenhouse bench.

Plowing his way through “Dr. Zhivago” was making Hutch shiver. All that angst and snow. He remembered that Huggy had given him some Russian Vodka on his last birthday and had admonished him to keep it in the freezer.

“Nat King?” He addressed the plant like an old friend. “I feel like my bones are cold. Stoli and orange juice sounds good. I’ll get you a drink too. You’re a little droopy.”

Hutch put his book down upside down next to Nat and patted his leaves.

The Stolichnaya red label was still in the freezer and was nearly full. When the good Doctor Yuri Zhivago was forced into the Army, Hutch switched to straight vodka.

When Lara and Yuri entered their ice covered country house, he took the phone off the hook and drank straight from the bottle.

When Yuri sat at his frozen desk, broke the ice on his ink and penned his poetry dedicated to Lara, Hutch put down the book and had a heart to root talk with Nat.

“Nat? Listen up, bud, I gotta talk to you. Lara and Yuri in that book there, love each other so much! They have overcome great… ummm… really cold… bad Russian thingy’s to be together!”

Hutch looked at Nat’s alert, happy leaves and knew he was paying attention.

“Me and Stars… we got that. We’ve overcome advi… adverser… bad Bay City thingies and bullets! Lots of bullets! Way too many bullets. You can’t do that without it doin’ somfin’ to your soul, you know? I got poetry in my soul too. I can feel the words sorta wanting to get out. Poetry! I bet I could win Stars’s heart with poetry! Why’d I never thought of that, bud?”

Hutch smiled and took another long swig of Stoli. Its icy heat warmed Hutch’s throat and took away the cold. He went to take another drink and stopped when the bottle neared his lips.

“Nat? What if Lara and Yuri don’t make it? Oh, God! I gotta know!”

Hutch picked his book and bottle and stumbled into the living area. He tried to sit on the couch, missed and landed on the floor. He looked around, shrugged and got back to reading.

By the time he had finished the book and the bottle of Stoli, Hutch was weeping uncontrollably.

“No! No! Oh, Yuri. Yuri. You found her too late. Too late. Too late! You suffered so much, your heart broke!”

Hutch tried to stand but the room refused to stay still. He crawled over to Nat in the greenhouse area, dragging “Dr. Zhivago,” his empty bottle and an afghan with him.

“Nat. Yuri couldn’t find Lara after they parted. Then he saw her on a street and tried to catch her. He had a heart attack. She never looked back. They were never reunited! But they still...lov...loved each other… ahhhhhh.”

Hutch dissolved into a puddle of vodka-fueled tears.

He lay there several minutes, muttering woeful words into the floor. Then he reached for the book and flipped to the end. The last chapter had poetry written by Yuri, with a little help from the author, Boris Pasternak.

Hutch sniffled and wiped his eyes so he could read the beautiful poetry. The words blurred on the page. Hutch tried hard to focus. One poem caught his eye and sobered him a bit. It reminded him of Starsky.

Meeting

Snow will cover the roads,  
It will heap up on the rooftops.  
I’ll go out to stretch my legs:  
You’re standing near the door.

Alone in a fall coat,  
Without hat, without warm boots,  
You’re fighting back agitation  
And chewing the wet snow.

Trees and lattice fences  
Go off into the murk.  
Alone amidst the snowfall,  
You stand at the corner.

Water runs from your kerchief  
Down your sleeve to the cuff,  
And drops of it like dewdrops  
Sparkle in your hair.

And a flaxen strand  
Illuminates: your face,  
Your kerchief and your figure,  
And that skimpy coat.

Snow moist on your lashes,  
Anguish in your eyes,  
And your entire aspect  
Is formed of a single piece.

As if with iron dipped  
In liquid antimony,  
You have been engraved  
Into my very heart.

And the meekness of those features  
Is lodged in it forever,  
And therefore it’s no matter  
That the world’s hardhearted.

And therefore everything  
On this snowy night is doubled,  
And I can draw no boundary  
Between myself and you.

But who are we, where from,  
If of all these years  
There remains only gossip,  
And we’re no longer here?

 

“Nat, doesn’t that second part sound like our Starsk? I mean, if we lived in Russia and there was a blizzard outside? He’d be all dressed in Russian Cossack shirt, all flowy white and a little wool cap on his curls. And black boots. Yeah, black boots to do that squatty Russian dance… Oh, Yeah. I can see that. Snow moist on his curls. And I’d read him poetry about how my heart was like engraved with his…”

“Hutch?”

Hutch’s eyes grew wide at the unexpected sound.

“Nat King Coleus? Is that you?”

“Hutch? Who are you talkin’ to? Why is your door open? And why are ya on the floor?”

Starsky’s eyes roamed the apartment looking for danger but all he saw beside Hutch on the floor was the book, the afghan and the empty bottle. 

Hutch moved his head to zero in on that familiar voice. Starsky’s voice. The room spun some more, so he held tight to the floor, a big grin spread across his face.

“Hey! Stars! What are… Oh, God! Is it Monday already?”

Hutch frowned, reached for his head and tried to sit up. He hit the vodka bottle with his hand and it spun wildly and stopped, pointing at Starsky’s feet. The afghan fell over “Dr. Zhivago,” hiding it from view.

Starsky sat beside Hutch on the floor and held him steady against his side. He gently leaned them both against the garden bench.

“It ain’t Monday. It’s Saturday night, late. I’ve been worried cause your phone’s off the hook and I couldn’t reach ya. Now answer me a few questions, will ya?”

“Sure, buddy.”

“Who were you talkin’ to when I got here?”

“Nat King Coleus!” Hutch giggled.

Starsky glanced at the pretty potted plant he had bought for Hutch one pleasant Sunday afternoon while he was recovering. He smiled at the memory.

“I can understand that. Nat’s a good listener.”

Hutch put a hand to Starsky’s ear and whispered,

“He’s great to talk to when I’m a little lonesome. But he isn’t a great conversationalist. Cause he’s doesn’t have any mouth.”

Hutch thought that was very funny and giggled some more. But Starsky’s mouth was in a tight frown.

“Is that why you got sloshed? Are ya feelin’ lonely tonight, babe?”

Now it was Hutch’s turn to frown. He couldn’t let Starsky find out what he was really doing.

“I’m fine, Stars. I…I just got carried away drinking cause I was feeling a little cold in my soul.”

Starsky smiled a little at that, although it puzzled him. It was a warm and balmy seventy-five degrees outside and Hutch’s soul was the warmest thing he could think of. He pulled Hutch closer and settled the afghan over Hutch’s long frame.

“Here. Let me warm ya up. I like that when ya get sloshed you call me Stars. Makes me feel special.”

“Y… You are special, Stars. Don’t even know how much I....”

Starsky reached for the empty bottle of vodka. He saw Hutch’s latest romance on the floor, but thought nothing of it. He knew Hutch preferred to read rather than watch TV when he was alone.

“Was this bottle full when ya started drinkin’ tonight?”

Hutch wrinkled his brow as he tried to remember.

“It was almost full. I had a little on my last happy... my birthday. ‘Member? Hugs gave it to me and…”

Starsky interrupted. “Good, good. Now tell me the real reason you drank an almost full bottle of Stoli all by your lonesome tonight. I’m worried sick about you, Hutch. You’ve been losing weight again, getting headaches and actin’ real weird. Even weirder than your usual weird self. You can tell me, babe. You can tell me anything.”

Hutch closed his eyes. Here was another opportunity to tell Starsky how he felt and win his love away from Andy Nolan. 

Hutch’s eyes popped open and widened.

“Hey, Starssss? Why are you here? I thought you and Andy were having a weekend fling-a-ding-ding.”

“Yeah, well. We had a real nice dinner, and Andy wanted...but I just wasn’t ready… Hutch, I need to talk to ya about it. But not now. I need your sober opinion, buddy.”

It slowly filtered through Hutch’s besotted brain that Starsky was not with Andy, but right here holding him close on the floor. He suddenly remembered the heartfelt poetry of “Dr, Zhivago” and his latest romantic plan.

“Stars? Why are we on the floor? I need you to go sit on the couch. I have something to recite… I mean say to you.”

Hutch tried to get to his feet but would have fallen if without Starsky’s quick interception.

“Jeez, Hutch! You’re wobblin’ like a weeble. Why don’t we go get you into your nice safe bed and let you crash, huh?”

Hutch turned his face to find Starsky still holding him close. He smiled and wagged his finger, almost hitting Starsky’s nose.

“No! Nonononono, no! You have to sit and I have to stand.”

“Hutch, baby. That ain’t happenin’.”

Hutch pulled away and tried to stand on his own. Next thing he knew he was on his knees, Starsky’s hands keeping his landing soft.

“Hutch! I’m puttin’ you to bed.”

“No! You sit! I’ll kneel. Kneeling works.”

Starsky sighed loudly and plopped on the couch with Hutch kneeling before him.

“Now tell me what you need to say to me. Then you’re goin’ to bed. And I’m stayin’ right here tonight to make sure you don’t fall outta the window or shoot your dumb blond foot off with your gun, ya dopey, drunk blintz!”

Hutch tipped his head to the side and smiled dreamily as if Starsky had just pledged his undying love. He placed his hands over his heart. Taking a deep breath, he began to recite the part of the poem, _Meeting, _that he had memorized.__

“Snow moist on your lashes  
Squishes in your eyes  
Your entire… umm… head  
Is in the right place.”

Hutch scrunched up his face.

“That doesn’t sound right.”

Starsky’s laugh started deep and abruptly surfaced. He tried to talk through his giggles.

“Awww, Hutch. What on earth are you doing?”

“Shit! Stars! Let me try again! It’s ‘portant.”

“Okay, try again.”

Starsky sat back and crossed his arms as he tried to keep a straight face. Hutch did his best to appear full of angst. He looked like he was full of vodka.

“My heart is made of metal  
Like that Wolverine guy  
I want to get it engraved  
Ummm… with… words… about…”

Starsky leaned forward, laughing heartily now. Tears formed in his eyes. He wiped them away.

“Hutch! You're killin’ me here!”

“Wait! Wait! I got it! I forgot the snow! The snow is ‘portant.”

Hutch tried one last time. He felt his time was running out.

“So on this snowy, icy, cold.  
So damn snowy and freezing night  
After so many cold years  
I want to still be me and thee.”

Hutch looked at Starsky expectantly.

Starsky stopped laughing and gave Hutch a loving smile.

“Baby? I don’t have a clue what you’re trying to say. But it never snows in California. And don’t ever worry about me and thee. That is for always. Let’s go to bed, okay?”

Hutch smiled and let Starsky help him to bed. He couldn’t believe it worked. One little poem and Starsky was in his bed. Hutch passively and willingly let Starsky undress him down to his t-shirt and briefs.

Starsky pulled back the covers on the bed and lifted Hutch’s legs onto the bed.

“Lay down, Hutch. I got ya. I ain’t never lettin’ ya go.”

Hutch’s head hit the pillow and he was instantly asleep, a smile following him into his dreams.

Starsky stared for at that smile for a long time. Then he tucked him in, kissed his cheek and patted the blond head.

“I wonder what’s goin’ on in there, baby?”

Starsky shook his head as he gathered what he needed to sleep on the couch.


	5. As You Wish, Starsk

On Sunday, Starsky gently nursed Hutch through the worst hangover of his life.

Starsky wanted to spend another night, he was that worried about his buddy’s strange behavior.

But at Hutch’s insistence that he was fine, Starsky left early Sunday evening after basically force feeding Hutch a hearty dinner of chicken and dumplings, Ma Starsky style. Guaranteed to restore health, grow hair on your chest and make you gain five pounds in one sitting.

Hutch taught a course at the Academy on Ethics every Monday morning, and he finally convinced Starsky that he needed to go home to do laundry and prepare for the coming week. They always drove in separately on Monday and Thursday.

Starsky avoided the subject of Andy. He was feeling protective of Hutch and didn’t want to burden him with his dating problems until he was feeling better.

Hutch avoided asking Starsky about Andy, because he didn’t think he could keep his emotions in check under Starsky’s intense partner scrutiny. Hutch’s mind was busy trying to figure out what he did wrong the night before, and what to do next.

When Starsky was saying goodbye at the door, he suddenly pulled Hutch into a hug and squeezed him tight.

“Ya big blond blintz! No more drinkin’ alone. Next time ya wanna tie one on you call me, ‘K? Like I told ya last night, baby. Me and thee is for always.”

Hutch stood at the door long after Starsky drove away. Starsky was his world. He had to find a way to woo him and win him.

He literally shook himself, finally shaking off the feelings of melancholy that had settled on him after reading “Dr. Zhivago.” He closed the door and walked to his bookcase. He picked up “The Princess Bride” and started to read…

_This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it. ___

Hutch was delighted with the strange fairy tale of Buttercup and Wesley. He read non- stop right through the chapters filled with evil princes, revenge, pirates, poison, and true love.

It was well past midnight when Hutch closed the book and muttered,

“As you wish, Starsk.”

.oOOo.

Starsky was perched on the wide window sill in the back of “Professor” Hutchinson’s classroom. The class was purposefully small by academy standards, making discussion easier. Twenty students were to learn the precepts of ethical behavior in four weeks. Then the next group of rookies would do the same. It was a challenge, but one that Hutch performed admirably. Hutch’s class was a pass/fail, and Starsky knew it would break Hutch’s big heart to pronounce someone incapable of empathy for another human being. Hutch worked hard with his students. He hadn’t given out a fail yet.

At first Hutch was so nervous, he needed Starsky to stand in the back just to keep eye contact and keep Hutch on track with observations and suggestions when needed.

But now Hutch had conquered his fears and never failed to make an indelible impression on every rookie seated in his classroom. Starsky was so supremely proud of his partner that he loved to sit in and observe whenever he could. Today it was Starsky who needed reassurance that his best friend was fully functional after his still unexplained drinking binge.

Hutch was hitting his stride. Starsky loved this part.

“Ethics are not formed by personal preferences or prejudices. Ethics are a logical way of thinking about an emotionally charged, life or death situation.”

Hutch focused in on his lecture. He paced around his desk, playing absentmindedly with the pen in his hand.

“As police officers, you may be put in a position where you are the only one who can make a decision for someone who is incapacitated. You will need to put your own feelings aside and try to make the choice that person would make if able. Luckily, this is something we can train you to do.”

“Let me give you an example. A police officer develops a very close relationship with their partner. You are responsible for protecting that partner. In some cases, if you are lucky, that relationship becomes a bond of brotherhood and you become involved in every aspect of your partner's life. You become personally involved. So involved that your partner may make you their medical proxy. The person who decides how and if they are treated after a medical trauma.”

Hutch paused as he always did at this point and gave a half-smile to Starsky. Starsky gave him a barely perceived nod in return. Hutch glanced at his seating chart.

“Cadet Wilson? What would you do if your partner, your brother officer, was shot three times in the police garage. He’s not breathing. His blood was... “ Hutch hesitated. Starsky caught his eye and smiled.

“His blood is everywhere. What would you do?”

Cadet Wilson moved uncomfortably in his seat. He lifted his head and looked Hutch in the eye.

“I’m sure I’d feel like panicking, but I would start CPR. You said it was a police garage, so someone would maybe hear the shots and get help.”

“Good answer! You are a human being and you would tend to panic. But training and knowing what to do helps. You might have chosen to call for help. It would be a hard choice. No real right or wrong at the time.”

“Cadet Alvarez? Now you are in the hospital. You are your partner’s medical proxy. The doctor tells you he probably will not make it through the night. His heart has already stopped once. The doctor asks if you want him to be resuscitated if it happens again. What would you decide?”

The young woman cleared her throat. “Can I ask a question?”

“Sure.”

“Will my partner be able to recover? I mean will he have brain damage?”

“No one can say. He’s not responsive. You don’t know.”

“Then… I think I would … let him go, if it happened again.”

Hutch glanced at Starsky as the classroom erupted in opinions that would not keep. Several cadets raised their hands. Starsky mouthed the words, “good job.” Hutch smirked.

“Cadet Ingram? You have something to say?”

“Yes, sir. I disagree. I think I would give my partner every chance possible to come back.”  
Cadet Alvarez spoke again.

“Would your partner want to be kept alive if he couldn’t function anymore? If he was a vegetable?”

“You don’t know that. He could recover.”

 

“What if you knew your partner would recover, but had the mind of a child? What would you decide then?” Hutch interrupted.

The classroom grew still with everyone deep in thought. No one raised their hand. Hutch looked over his little pond of worried faces. He decided to put them out of their misery.

“Cadets? I’d like to introduce you to my partner and best friend, Lieutenant Starsky. Some of you will know him as your defensive driving instructor.”

Starsky moved to Hutch’s side.

“Maybe you’d like to take over, Lieutenant Starsky?”

Starsky raised an eyebrow and addressed the class.

“Speakin’ as someone who has recovered from three gunshot wounds and a flatline or two, I think I can put things in perspective.”

Murmurs spread around the classroom as the cadets realized that these partners had faced the very scenario Lieutenant Hutchinson had described.

“First of all, it is very unlikely that you would hold the fate of your partner in your hands all by yourself. Other family members, your friends, your Captain, the police Chaplain and many others would help you make your decision.”

“And with a well-grounded idea of the fundamentals of ethics to fall back on, you will never really be alone with any decision you make.”

“First, do no harm. Second, do not take away possible outcomes by your actions. Third, value life in all its forms.”

Hutch took over. “Cadet Michaels. What decision would you make based on these precepts?”

“Well, I’d have to say I wouldn’t make a decision yet. My partner could recover, could try new treatments. Could have a happy life with the mind of a child.”

“Very good, Cadet. My partner functions perfectly well with the mind of a child.”

Starsky punched Hutch in the arm as the bell ending class rang. The cadets laughed as they left the classroom, heated discussions started in the hall.

Hutch rubbed his arm and grimaced in mock pain.

Starsky laughed, “You were terrific, Professor! Come on, I’ll buy ya lunch, if you lend me a ten spot.”

.oOOo.

After lunch, Starsky headed back to the office while Hutch returned to the classroom to gather his books and do some lesson planning. The lesson using his partner’s shooting as an example always left him feeling upset. But Starsky insisted it was a valuable one to get the cadets ready for what they might face. He always seemed to be there for that lesson and always took him to lunch after. It helped to see Starsky alive and healthy after reliving that day.

Hutch stared at the blank page of his notebook. His thoughts were far away in a land where true love conquers all. Reliving Starsky’s shooting made him realize that he would do anything for Starsky. Anything to win his love. But was all this romantic manipulation ethical? Hutch pondered that for a moment and picked up his pen. In his notebook he wrote:

The Ethics of Romance

1\. Fall in Love

2\. Woo your love

3\. Win Your Love

4\. Tell The Truth?

5\. Do No Harm

Hutch contemplated # 5 on his list. Was he doing harm with all his plans to win Starsky away from Andy? Could he be deathly honest and face telling Starsky what was in his heart? What if he were rejected?

Hutch sighed and threw down his pen. He was more confused than ever. Maybe all those romance writers and lovers knew what they were doing, but he certainly didn’t.

He decided to try Wesley’s plan to woo the aloof Buttercup. He would simply agree with whatever Starsky said and whatever he wanted to do. Simple. Effective. Nothing unethical about it.

“Piece of cake!” He said to the empty _Ethics _classroom.__

.oOOo.

Tuesday morning Starsky pulled the Torino into the only space left outside of Venice Place. Starsky was in a great mood. He beeped his horn lightly seven times.

“Shave and a haircut, two bits! Come on, Hutch!”

On Tuesday mornings the partners had a conference with Dobey and his detective teams to add their input and expertise on tough cases. On Tuesday afternoons Starsky and Hutch visited various Bay City elementary schools and talked to the kids about safety. Starsky loved Tuesdays almost as much as Thursdays.

Hutch stumbled down his stairs while pulling on his jacket. He opened the Torino’s passenger door and smiled at Starsky’s morning grin.

“Hey! Hutch!”

“Hey, yourself, Gordo.”

Starsky handed Hutch a coffee.

“Oh! Thanks, Starsk. I need this today.”

“You good, Blondie? Ya sleepin’ okay? You didn’t have a nightmare again, did ya?”

“No! I’m fine, Starsk. Don’t worry so much about me.”

“Ha! Might as well ask me not to breath. Hey, ya want part of my Danish? I think it’s got some sorta cheese in it.”

Starsky eyed his Danish and then Hutch. After Starsky had been shot, Hutch held himself together, but something had to give. His appetite disappeared. He existed on coffee and bites of whatever Starsky was eating at the time. Hutch focused all his time and attention on Starsky and lost a lot of weight. As soon as Starsky realized what was happening, he made it his personal project to make sure Hutch ate three nutritious squares. But no matter how often he offered, Starsky couldn’t get Hutch to eat his ominous morning pastries. 

Hutch took a deep breath and plunged into his plan.

“Sure, Starsk. I’ll share it with you.”

Starsky almost dropped the Danish onto his upholstery. His mouth was wide open with surprise. Hutch leaned over and took a bite.

“Yummy! Some sorta cheesy goodness.”

Hutch swallowed hard and smiled.

“Let’s go, Starsk! We’re gonna be late!”

Starsky handed Hutch the Danish.

“You have it, Hutch. You must be starvin’. Skinny, dumb blond.”

“As you wish, partner.”

Starsky took off. He was really worried now.

.oOOo.

The Tuesday conference with Captain Dobey included two new Detectives, Woodlock and Case. They had known each other since Academy days and were ecstatic when Dobey partnered them. Dobey was secretly hoping for a new Starsky and Hutch team.

The newbies admired Starsky and Hutch and hung onto every word. They especially liked their give and take; the way they bounced ideas off each other. Today the fresh young detectives were following their “reading each other's mind with a single meaningful look” routine, despite Hutch acting mighty peculiar.

Starsky’s “Get me a cuppa joe, would ya, Hutch?” Was met with a “Sure, Starsk,”and a smile.

Starsky’s “Naaa! You’re wrong, Hutch. This character ain’t smart enough to mastermind an escape from a paper bag, let alone jail.” was met with a “you’re right, Starsk. Don’t know what I was thinking.”

And at the end of the conference Woodlock and Case, nearly drowned in each other's eyes when Dobey started to talk about pranks he was sure Starsky and Hutch were behind.

Starsky gave Hutch a friendly push and said jokingly, “time to fess up, Hutch!” And he did. Every single prank he had ever foisted on Dobey. Some even Starsky didn’t know about.

As they all left Dobey’s office, Dobey pulled Starsky aside.

“What the heck is wrong with Hutch?”

“I don’t know! I’m so worried about him, Cap. Ya think maybe all those concussions he used to get finally caught up with him and gave him delayed brain damage? Can that happen?”

“I think you better find out, Starsky, and quick!”

Hutch was holding the squad room door open for Starsky and gave him a big smile.

Woodlock and Case, shook their heads in unison and glanced knowingly at each other.

.oOOo.

Starsky suggested Mondo Burger for lunch. He wanted to make sure his Hutch was getting plenty of protein for his poor, abused brain.

Hutch just smiled and said, “Where ever you wish to go is fine with me, Starsk. I’m easy.”

“Hutch, you are many, many things, but easy ain’t one a them.”

Starsky ordered two of the biggest burgers on the menu and a large French fry to share. He waited for Hutch to whine, but it never happened. Starsky got chills when he watched Hutch bite into the burger.

“Thanks, Starsk. This is so nice of you.”

“Hutch, you can tell me. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Hutch wiped the grease off his fingers with a paper napkin. Then picked up another to finish the job.

“Nothing is wrong, Starsk. I like having lunch with you. You make me smile.”

Hutch smiled his brightest, light up Bay City smile. Starsky frowned and shook his head.

“Okay. I guess you’ll tell me when you’re ready. Oh! I almost forgot! Andy has this best friend, see. And he really wants me to get to know her.”

“Her?”

“Yeah, her… ummm… Claire. That’s her name. So anyways, Andy wants us to double Friday. Ya wanna? It’ll be fun. And…”

Hutch bit his lip and said, “Sure, Starsk. It’ll be fun. Me, Claire. You, Andy. Boy. Girl. Boy. Boy.”

“You’ll go? Oh! Boy!”

Hutch took another bite of his burger. The thought crossed his mind that he might die of a heart attack after he finished his burger. If he was lucky.

.oOOo.

Back at the office, Hutch picked up a pink “while you were out” message note and read it out loud to Starsky.

“Brennen Elementary called to cancel this afternoon. Chickenpox.”

“Aww, the poor kids. I hated the chickenpox. So itchy. Only good thing about them was givin’ them to Nick. I got to play with all his toys while he was stuck in bed.”

“Spoken like a concerned big brother, Starsk.”

“He was fine. Hey! I been meanin’ to get a haircut. I think I’ll call and see if Mr. Maxwell is free today. I like the way he enhances my natural curls.”

Hutch snorted and glanced at those curls he longed to weave his fingers through.

“Mr. Maxwell is a genius, Starsk.”

Starsky covered the phone receiver with his hand.

“Hutch! He’s free. I asked him if he’d do you too and he said yes. Wadda ya say, Blondie?”

Hutch answered softly, “Sure, Starsk.”

“Terrific! You are gonna knock Claire’s socks off on Friday. Hey babe, while we’re at it how about losing the cookie duster? It’ll take years offa ya, I tell ya!”

Starsky laughed and turned away to confirm their appointment. He didn’t see Hutch’s eyes open in horror then close in resignation.

“Sure, Starsk. Sounds like a good idea.”

Starsky hung up the phone and faced his partner.

“You’re gonna do it? You’re gonna shave off your mustache, just like that?”

“Sure, Starsk.”

“Hutch, baby. You must really want to impress this girl. I...I hope you two hit it off.”

Starsky stood and went to Hutch, grasping his arm and searching his expressive blue eyes. Hutch looked away.

“Aw, Hutch. Hey! We all get lonely. We all need someone special in our lives. Someone to… love. I want ya to be happy Hutch. I want that for you so much.”

“Sure, Starsk. I know.”

.oOOo.

Friday evening was one of those perfect California evenings just made for lovers. The sky was clear, the stars were shining just as they should. It was a textbook night for romance.

Starsky picked Hutch up at Venice Place at seven. They were meeting Andy and Claire at a new seafood restaurant right on the beach. The Spiny Lobster was supposed to have the best seafood in town and a lighted boardwalk for a romantic after-dinner stroll.

Starsky hadn’t notice the perfect night. He only noticed his perfect Hutch.

Mr. Maxwell was a genius. He had left Hutch’s hair long, but framed his face with a halo of soft blond waves. His naked lip made him look young and vulnerable. The suit he chose for his double date with Starsky was midnight blue. The turtleneck he wore was the same color as his eyes.

Starsky couldn’t stop sneaking looks at him.

Hutch could hardly keep his eyes off of Starsky as he drove. He watched his hands stroking the wheel. He let his eyes take in the soft brown suede jacket with its leather buttons and collar. Those chocolate curls were teasing the collar and Hutch had to stop himself from rubbing Starsky’s neck. He didn’t dare look at the dark brown cords hugging Starsky’s legs. He rested his eyes on the khaki colored knit tie and rugged tan shirt. That was safe.

“Great tie.”

“Thanks.”

“Nice turtleneck. Matches your eyes.”

“Thanks.”

Their aftershaves and nervous sweat mixed in the hot car. They were both too intoxicated with each other to continue talking.

.oOOo.

Claire stood and tugged at Andy’s sleeve.

“Put your tongue back in your mouth and introduce us, Nolan.”

Andy came out of his “Hutch without a mustache” induced daze and managed to remember everyone’s name.

Starsky took Claire’s hand and kissed it. Then touched Andy’s back as he sat at the table dressed in linen for the night. Hutch held Claire’s chair and smiled nervously. Claire reminded him of someone.

Claire was a petite brunette with large, soulful eyes and full, ripe lips. The simple black dress she wore clung to her slim figure. She held herself in a demure almost professional manner as if she were a doctor or…

“Claire is a RN. We met in college.” said Andy proudly.

“Yes, I work in pediatrics. But believe me I’ve heard tales of the infamous partners Starsky and Hutch.”

Hutch looked at Starsky.

“She’s a nurse, Starsk. Hear that?”

Hutch rubbed the old knife scar on his arm absently. Starsky took a drink of ice water and tried to catch the waiter. He needed a drink.

“Yes! I believe half of the surgical nurses were hopelessly in love with you, Dave.”

“And I seem to remember you dated an ER nurse named Diana, Ken. She would talk about you constantly. What ever happened to her?”

Hutch turned pale and started to stutter.

“W...W...Well...ahhhhh… Starsk? Can I...I... see you at the bar… for a minute? Excuse me.”

Starsky excused himself and followed his partner.

“Hutch! What’s goin’ on?”

“I… I can’t, Starsk. I… can’t do this.”

“Hutch! Calm down! It’s just dinner. So she knew Diana. So she’s heard gossip about you two. It’s not like she’s her evil twin sister or somethin’…”

“Oh! God! Starsk!”

Starsky grabbed hold of his friend’s arms.

“Hutch what’s wrong. Tell. Me!”

“I’ve tried, Starsky. I’ve tried everything. But it’s no use. I...I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Hutch broke free of Starsky’s grasp.

“Don’t worry about me … I...I’ll get a cab. Please, Starsk go back. Make my excuses. Have fun.”

“Hutch!”

Hutch walked out the door and headed towards the boardwalk.

Starsky headed back to the table. He didn’t notice Andy follow Hutch out the door.

When Starsky returned to the table. Claire was alone.

“I’m so sorry, Claire.” Starsky sat in the chair next to her and leaned closer. “Where’s Andy?”

Claire played with her napkin nervously.

“He said he had to use the men’s room, and then get us drinks from the bar. The waiter has filled the water glasses twice. What happened, Dave? Was it something I said?”

“Well, yes and no. Hutch has been acting crazy lately. I don’t know what’s wrong. But ya see you mentioned Diana and set him off.”

Starsky placed a hand on Claire’s nervous fingers to calm them.

“Diana? I was just making small talk. Oh! God! What did I do?”

“Diana was mentally ill. She attacked Hutch with a butcher knife and almost killed him. He’s hardly dated since and no one in the past year and a half.”

Claire groaned.

“I sure know how to ruin a date! I should stick to being friends with nice gay men and adopt a cat.”

Starsky chuckled and patted her hand. He looked around for Andy.

“Dave, I probably shouldn’t ask this, but what the heck, I already ruined the evening. Are you in love with Andy?”

Starsky took in a breath and released it slowly.

“No, I like him tremendously. I think he’s a generous, sweet guy...but…”

“Good.”

“Huh?”

“Dave, Andy is in love with Ken. And he told me Ken is in love with him too. Just won’t come out and say it. Andy has this crazy romantic plan about being with you to make Ken realize he really wants him. Andy is my best buddy and I know I shouldn’t rat him out, but I don’t appreciate being part of a dizzy romantic scheme and I told him so earlier.”

“Andy loves Hutch? But Hutch…”

Claire chuckled this time.

“Oh, sweetheart! You don’t know? Ken is in love with you!”

“You’re crazy!”

“Andy thinks I’m crazy too. No one ever listens to me, but I’m never wrong. He said if Ken hadn’t made a move on you by now he never would. And he’s all set to fill poor Ken’s lonely heart with warm and cuddlies. Maybe I’ll get two cats and take up knitting. I’m calling a cab and going home. If I were you, I’d take a walk on that stupid romantic boardwalk out there in the stupid romantic moonlight.”

Claire walked out, head held high. Leaving a stunned Starsky in her wake.

.oOOo.

Andy spotted Hutch leaning on the railing of the boardwalk gazing at the brilliant stars. His moonlit blond hair was dancing in the ocean breeze.

_He is so beautiful I can hardly breathe. ___

“Ken!”

Hutch glanced in Andy’s direction, then continued looking at the night sky.

Andy took up a similar position beside him.

“Ken? Are you alright?”

“I’m sorry I ruined your evening, Andy. H...Has everyone gone?”

“I don’t know. I came after you.”

Hutch sighed. He turned to see Andy’s face.

“Diana was deranged. She tried to kill me. I just sort of panicked when Claire brought it up. She reminds me of her. I’m so sorry. I feel like a fool. Please, apologize to Claire for me. I was very rude.”

“My God! What you’ve been through!” Andy put his arm around Hutch’s shoulders and hugged him.

“I will give Claire your apologies… but your reaction was very understandable. Claire is the understanding type. Won’t you come back inside and have a drink at least? Maybe we could just forget this happened.”

Andy’s hand was now rubbing gently across Hutch’s back.

“That’s kind of you, but I think I’ll just call it a night.”

Andy began to finger Hutch’s newly styled hair.

“Why don’t I take you home? You can wait here and I’ll go tell Dave and Claire I’ll be back shortly.”

Andy moved even closer.

“No, I’ll just get a cab. I can call on the radio in Starsky’s car. Perk of being a cop. I have Starsky’s spare key on my ring.”

Hutch fumbled with his suit coat pocket. Andy moved closer still.

“But you’ve had a shock, Ken. You shouldn’t be alone tonight. Maybe you should talk about it. We could stop to get coffee when I take you home. You could talk to me, Ken. I’m very understanding, too.”

Andy reached over and gently pushed Hutch’s hair out of his eyes. Hutch looked up to find Andy had moved within kissing distance.

Andy placed one finger on Hutch’s lip.

“By the way, you look beautiful without your mustache. Whatever made you shave it? Who were you really trying to impress tonight?”

“Andy...”

“You beautiful man. You’ve done everything but say it. Didn’t you think I would notice? You gave me money to save my brother, interfered with Dave and my dates to keep us apart, agreed to a double date just to be near me, even got a makeover! You might not realize it, Sugar, but you love me!”

Hutch backed away, his eyes wide, his mouth opened in surprise.

“Andy...I...I..I…”

Starsky came up behind Andy and heard Hutch’s telltale stutter. Starsky knew in a second that his Hutch was confused and overwrought. His protective instincts took off like a rocket into the romantic moonlit sky. Starsky’s policed his voice not to show the anger he was feeling in his gut.

“You guys done moonbathin’ in the stardust? Claire’s gone home. I think we ought to go too, Hutch. ”

“I’m taking Ken home, Dave,” Andy told him. “We have something to discuss.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, discuss this…”

Starsky sucker punched Andy and he went down like a swooning heroine. He sent a furious glance in Hutch’s direction and walked away shaking out his fist.

“Wait! Starsk! Andy, you alright? Starsky! STARSKY!”

Andy groaned and sat up rubbing his jaw. Hutch hesitated a moment and helped Andy to his feet. Then took off running down the boardwalk and onto the beach. Each footfall echoed the thought in his head.

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! ___


	6. Passion In The Palms

It was after ten o’clock by the time Hutch got home. He was exhausted and slightly green around the edges. Not with jealousy this time, but with disgust at his own behavior.

It was now clear that he would do anything to win Starsky. Hutch’s inner sense of right and wrong had taken a holiday. He had played games with people’s lives and had left a trail of hurt. Nothing romantic about hurt. There were no ethics in romance.

He walked over to the bookcase and grabbed “Passion In The Pines” off of the shelf violently, nearly ripping the cover. It was the only romance novel he had left to read. He stared at the cheap paperback. The front had a badly composed picture of a pioneer woman hugging a lone pine tree with a look of longing on her windswept face. A short paragraph on the back cover informed Hutch that the story took place in Seattle in the late 1880’s. It seemed that three lumberjack brothers vied for the love of a woman who had to choose between them.

“This sounds like crap.” He said to himself. Still, he opened the book and skimmed through it.

“This is crap,” he chuckled. “That middle brother doesn’t stand a chance!”

Hutch started to throw the book in the trash. He was done with romances. He had screwed up royally. He couldn’t see the possibility of a happy ending in his life. He pictured Mindy and her belief in true love’s power. He couldn’t throw the book away.

_I love Starsky. Andy loves me. Starsky loves Andy or he would not have belted him. Nothing says love like a left to the jaw. Starsky probably thought I tried to steal Andy away from him. I’ve gone down that rocky road before. ___

Hutch flopped down on the couch fully clothed, not caring if his best suit would be wrinkled and ruined. He managed to kick off his sandy dress shoes.

_Hutchinson, you could screw up a one car parade. ___

He picked up “Passion In The Pines” and started to read, just to block out his depressing thoughts.

An hour and a half later, Hutch slowly closed the book. He wiped his tearful eyes and looked around his apartment to see if any of his plants were watching their strong, beloved, benefactor cry over a trashy romance novel. The heroine, Virginia, had indeed picked the shy, sincere, middle brother. The middle brother loved Virginia with his whole heart, but never had the will to fight his brothers for her love. In the end, his selfless act of letting her go won her heart. They lived and loved happily ever after in a little log cabin nestled in the passionate pines.

Hutch sniffled and made his way to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face and compose himself.

He dried his face with a hand towel and took a long look at himself in the mirror.

_You have to let him go. If you really love him, you’ll let him go. You need to tell him the truth. You owe him the truth. ___

Hutch could not argue with himself. He would tell Starsky the truth. He pointed his finger and scowled at the mirror Hutch.

_This is no romance! This is your partner's life. You've got to make this right, Hutchinson, you selfish bastard. ___

____

.oOOo.

At midnight, Hutch was watering and tending to his plants. He couldn’t sleep and his plants were starting to show signs of neglect.

“Hutch is sorry, little ones. Hutch is very, very, sorry.”

“Hutch? Ya oughta get a parrot or somethin’ that’ll talk back. That is just sad.”

“Starsk?” Hutch put down his pruners and went to the door. He made a move to hug Starsky, then stopped, letting his arms and his head hang.

“Hey! Since when do we let being idiotic interfere with a hug, babe?”

Starsky opened his arms and Hutch fell into them.

“Starsk. I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve someone like me screwing things up for you. I’m a pathetic moron. You should have kicked me to the curb years ago.”

Hutch said all this into Starsky’s suede jacket. He couldn’t help but notice the earthy smell of the leather collar and the slightly acrid aroma of his partner’s aftershave mixed with beer. He took a deep breath.

“That’d be like kickin’ a big, blond, blue-eyed puppy. I didn’t have the heart to do that years ago and I don’t have the heart now.”

“Aw, Starsk.”

“Come on, baby. Let’s get this talk over with. I came to the conclusion over my second beer at Huggy’s that I have no idea what went down tonight. Huggy suggested I handcuff you, take you down to the station and interrogate you with a rubber hose till you crack.”

“Good old Huggy. Always thinking of my welfare.”

“I almost took his suggestion. I might still, we’ll see.”

Starsky manhandled Hutch to the couch.

“Sit. Spill your guts, Blondie.”

“Okay, but you’ve got to listen to the whole stupid story without interruption.”

“Can I make faces?”

“No!”

Starsky made a face. Hutch chuckled.

“Okay Hutch. You’ve got the floor. As the barkeep said to the drunk.”

“Starsk!”

Starsky made a motion of zipping his lip.

“It started when I paid a visit to Mindy at the used bookstore…” Hutch began.

.oOOo.

Forty-five minutes later…

“... Andy mistakenly thought I loved him when I’ve really been in love with you for I honestly don’t know how long. I’ve been a selfish bastard. I don’t deserve your love. And I know that now. I want only your happiness. I’ll talk to Andy and straighten everything out. I think you two could be happy together if I step out of the picture and let you go.”

Hutch had not looked at Starsky the whole time he spoke. He was afraid of what he would see. He couldn’t seem to move his gaze from the wine stain on his rug that he could never get out.

Starsky cleared his throat.

“Are ya done, Hutch?”

Hutch nodded.

“Can I say a few words?”

Hutch nodded again and pushed his hands through his hair. It fell back into place.

Starsky solemnly picked up a throw pillow and smacked the blond head.

“You are a numbskull!”

SMACK!

“An ignoramus!”

SMACK!

“Hey!” Hutch put up his hands to fend away the pillow attack.

SMACK!

“Shaddup! I ain’t finished!”

SMACK!

“You fell in love with me years ago and never told me!”

SMACK!

“Starsk! Stop!”

SMACK!

“No!”

SMACK!

“I could have had your lovin’ ass all this time and you never _told _me!”__

SMACK!

“Starsk?”

SMACK!

“What?”

“D...Do… you love me? Really love me?”

Starsky gave Hutch his full attention. He ran his eyes over Hutch’s long slim body. His mussed hair, his flushed face, his eyes sky blue with a hint of clouds. His naked upper lip. And the lower lip slightly pouted as only Hutch could do.

Starsky tossed the throw pillow across the room.

“Listen up, buddy boy. I got a romantic tale to tell ya. Once upon a time a dumb kid from Brooklyn met an even dumber kid from Duluth. They became friends and partners. They proved they loved each other every day of their lives and were too stupid to know it. One day the Brooklyn kid died. But only for a minute because the Duluth kid reached right down into the arms of Death and pulled the Brooklyn kid right back where he belonged.”

Starsky placed a hand on Hutch’s hair and began to gently pet him.

“Now the Brooklyn kid wised up after that. He knew who he belonged to, body, soul and heart. But the Duluth kid was a real live dumb blond from his tippy top head to his little toes. So he thinked and worried and plotted and plotzed himself to the point where he was about to give up the only thing that mattered in the whole dumb world, true love. Luckily, the wise Brooklyn kid smacked some sense into the dumb blond with a pillow and kissed him senseless.” 

Starsky leaned in and Hutch closed his eyes. It may not have been the most romantic kiss on record, two scarred worn out beat cops in wrinkled suits kissing on an old threadbare couch. But the soft moans of delight from deep in Hutch’s throat and the answering passion-fueled fire coming from Starsky’s mouth was enough to singe the endpapers of “Passion In The Pines.”

“Starsk?” Hutch managed to say without ending the kiss.

“Ummmm.”

“I want to hear you say it. I w...want you to hear me say it.”

Starsky pulled away slightly.

“It.”

“Starsk!”

“‘K. I love you, ya dumb blond.”

“I love you too, Starsk.”

“Starsk?”

“What now!”

“Did the Brooklyn kid and the Duluth kid…”

“Yeah, they did. They lived happily ever after. Now shuddup and kiss my socks off.”

“That’s a start.”

 

Epilogue

Mindy looked up from her novel as her little doorbell almost jingled itself off the door. Her two favorite cops entered arguing non-stop. Hutch was balancing a stack of books.

“I said I promise, Gordo. No romances.”

“Well, I’m keeping an eye on ya! How ya doin’, Mindy?”

Mindy closed her book and clapped her hands.

“I’m doing well, Thank you!! How wonderful to see you two! You both look so good! Lieutenant Ken! You shaved off the face lace! Be still my heart!”

Hutch piled his books on the counter, with a wink and a smile for Mindy.

“Starsk says I have to return these. He doesn’t want any romances, quote, stinkin’ up, unquote, our new house.”

“Darn, right!” called Starsky from the stacks.

“Lieutenant Dave! I got in some used Chiltons. I think there was one on Ford Torinos. They are all the way in the back on the last shelf by the emergency door.” Mindy called back.

“Terrific!”

Mindy lowered her voice.

“New house? Then you two…”

“Yup! True love conquered Starsky and Hutch.”

“I’m so happy for you, Ken. Was it the romances?”

“In a way. They definitely helped bring us together! Thank you, Mindy.”

Hutch leaned over the counter and gave Mindy’s cheek a kiss.

“What’s that you're reading?”

“The latest Harlequin, “Jungle Love.””

“Mindy do you think I could just take a peek?”

Mindy hesitated. “You’ve got the fever, haven’t you. Desiring, time wasting, mind numbing, romantic tales?”

Hutch nodded.

“Starsky won’t let me read them! He says they seriously mess me up.”

Mindy sighed.

“Poor, boy. Here, slip “Jungle Love” in your pocket. You’re going to have to make a false cover for it. “Low Fat Cooking With Groats” is a good one to take the cover off of. Who would want to read that? Take that book, too.”

Starsky returned triumphantly with a Chilton’s car maintenance manual in his hand.

“Whatcha got there, Hutch? What the hell is a groat?”

“Well, I guess we’ll find out, Starsk. Right, Mindy?”

Mindy smiled and winked at Hutch.

“I heard groats are also good for... you know… stamina.”

Starsky grinned, put his car book down on the counter and got out his wallet.

“We’ll take that one too, Mindy. Never can have too much stamina.”

Mindy laughed. “I think you two really are going to live happily ever after.”

 

The End


End file.
